insults

How to Insult without Using Swearing

Right,


Hi everyone,


I was thinking the other day how ugly and boring swearing is...

So I thought I would do a blog on insults... using no swearing... Happy

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Here is a list of insults for the more modern people out there


1. OMG I just found out you’re the only surviving brain transplant donor!
2. Oxygen Thief
3. Impertinent fool -- my creation... i say it to... EVERYONE
4. You’re going to need at least three promotions to make it to idiot
5. Whatever is eating you, must be suffering horribly

6.
I can purchase bigger boobs, regrettably you have that tiny brain for life.
7.
"Insulting you would be insulting to insults"
8. Aww, you've got a little crush on yourself. Be careful though the guy you're in love with's a douche."
9. Man: I don’t like girls with flat chests
Girl: Too bad you are one then

and my personal favorite!!!!!!!!!!

10.

Girl: You have a fat a$$
Me: That means I’m voluptuous baby, its a compliment!!! You on the other hand are just plain stupid, and plastic surgery can’t fix that... though
I can see you’ve tried...


Note: The word a$$ is used in the bible and, as Shakespeare argues, is not a swear and can be used as much as one likes <3


Here’s some Shakespearian Insults


1. [Thou] foul defacer of God's handiwork.
2. (not really an insult but is good when used after someone curses at you) Govern thy tongue,
3. Move your face or I’ll give you the plague -- here purely to make you laugh
4. You will die a beggar
5. Away, thou art poison to the mind (I made that up so... copy righted xD)
6. Men from children, nothing differ
7. If you were men, as men you are show, you would never use a woman so...
8. If I be waspish then beware my sting.
9. You are an insult to the most ugly of asses (Another one of mine)
10. Scurvy old filthy scurry lord.


Hmmmm... I think more insults are needed... o.e

Random insults for all occasions

1. She’s so fat she looks like a viking ship in full sail!!!
2. I’ve seen wounds better dressed then him.
3. As baffled as Adam on mothers day.
4. She’s got as much class as torn wall paper!
5. She looks like a million dollars-- all green and wrinkly
6. I always know when he’s lying, his lips move.
7. He made all his money the hoard way.
8. Hi buddy, love the shirt... what is it clearance?
9. I love that red shirt, matches your eyes.
10. I love that black shirt, matches your heart


MORE... MORE... MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...
coming soon!